Relationships and Affinity

For the past few days, something has been bothering me. Since Aug, after I became single again, looking around me, it was friends who got married and have kids, or friends or families that was engaged or attached, frankly speaking, my first thought was "lonely". I started to observe myself since then. I became resentful for the fact that "Am I not worth anyone love at all?". This thought grew further which affected my self-esteem altogether. For a while, I was looking and thinking in my own perspective, my point of views, and I forgot to consult someone????? Who is it?

God. What is God's intention? What is God telling me? I think I sort of work out what is going on. Firstly, I am not a victim or the weak one in this situation, God haven't sent the right person because God would like me to cultivate deeper spiritually so that the person can walk this path with me together, in order to have a safe and smooth sailing for the lifetime. Now God gives me more time to redeem myself, and to learn about what it means to be OPEN and SINCERE to my environment and have Great Faith in thee.

What does it mean to be OPEN and SINCERE? It's all in the doing and feeling it happen in the heart level. Embracing comments from others, embracing myself good and bad, loving each person for who they really are. Let God's love flow through my heart and enter into my mum, sister, bro in law, my bro, and my friends and other relatives. Every step I take, I will feel my heart beat and fill with joy. And I remember my mission in life and also who I really am before I was born to earth. God constantly speak through others to remind me to go home, where the true heart live, where the conscience stays, as it's the heart and conscience that will be the torch light that will guide me and shine my path so that I know where I am going.

Dear God,
I thank you for today's reflection, I'm sorry I have not done significant reflection lately, and that explain why my spiritual growth was minimum. The more I want to serve you, the more resistant I got, just because I use a conditional heart to serve you. God, please also shine the path for the one who is meant for me, as I have so much joy in my heart, and my life to share with him. God Bless.

XOXOX Shazzaaaaaa...